Let us turn TO each other and stop turning on each other!

Motive matters in relationships of all kinds.
By Van Benson
In his life-changing book, “The People Code”, Dr. Taylor Hartman offers a fresh method for analyzing and identifying your own innate personality, as well as that of others.
James F. Hennig, Ph.D, who has studied behavior style for more than three decades, says, “I believe The People Code (Color Code system of Motive) stands head and shoulders above the others, and provides greater clarity and understanding than any program I’ve ever been exposed to”.
Motive Matters is a training and consulting company that teaches people about people. We do so with executive, management, and production teams in the world of business, and in faith based organizations, with emphasis on marriage, family, and professional relationships.
Everyone is primarily motivated, at the core of their innate personality, by power (RED), intimacy (BLUE), peace (WHITE), or fun (YELLOW). Most of us represent a blend of the four colors. Our particular blend, when mixed with our unique life history, make us all.. one of a kind. One of our seminar attendees, Karolyn, wrote to me, “Color Code is not meant to confine or confuse, but to explain and enhance our understanding of ourselves and each other”. Well said!
When you understand the concept of Driving Core Motive, you can begin to adjust to the different way others see life. As Tim LaHaye wrote in Transforming Your Temperament, “Many a marriage battleground is transformed into a neutrality zone when two individuals learn to appreciate their partners temperament”. Motive training goes much deeper than mere behavior, and offers even further clarity on what Dr. John Gottman refers to as “Perpetual Problems”. The truth is, married couples and business associates often have conflict over the SAME things, over and over and over. Sixty nine percent of these perpetual problem conflicts have to do with our personality differences in perspective. Learning to take the other persons perspective is a key skill of emotional intelligence.
All the relationships of your life will be enhanced when you understand “The Why” behind the perspective and the behavior.
Then, and only then, will you be able to begin the process of “adjusting” your style of inter-acting, and communicating with someone who sees life different than you do, and more than likely speaks a different “color language” than you do.
Remember, the REDS and the WHITES take the perspective of logic. BLUES and YELLOWS are more emotional. REDS and BLUES are more comfortable when they feel a sense of control, while WHITES and YELLOWS are more comfortable when they are NOT being controlled.
It is not a question of who is better, or who is right or wrong. We are just different. None of us is smarter than all of us. We need each other.
So, let’s get started declaring a truce in the battleground of relationships, and, as was stated in the benediction of our recent Presidential Inauguration, “Let us turn TO each other, and stop turning ON each other”!