Continuing thoughts on conflict resolution:
So…back to needs and wants of the colors.
How can your needs and wants get in the way of creating and sustaining successful relationships?
First of all, do you know your needs and wants? In your comprehensive analysis you will find the needs and wants of your primary and secondary colors. You may find a mixture of these needs and wants that are most important to you. “Humble up”, and honestly “get” your own needs and wants. This is part of First Base in the game of life, “Get Yourself”.
Your driving core motive is just that. It is the innermost impulse to action. The most powerful influence in your personality. Needs and wants come from the core of the motive. They also drive you to a significant degree.
I’ll give you an innocent little example in my own life. Yesterday, I was standing beside a house we are selling that was in need of some repair on the duct work. My friend, and fellow Color Coder, Ken Anderson is a contractor and was doing some of the other work that needed to be done. When it came to the heating and air duct work, HE said to me, “I think you might be better off to call someone who is a professional on that kind of work.” While we stood there...Ken, Tammy, and me…I called my friend Steve, who is a Heat and Air Repairman. I said to him, “Ken and I are standing here trying to figure out what to do on this and I said, why don’t I just call a professional?”
Ken and Tammy looked at each other with puzzled looks and then began to snicker to each other. When I hung up my phone, I said, “What are you laughing about?” Tammy said, “YOU didn’t say, let’s call a professional, KEN did!” “You are so yellow, you just want to look good to Steve!” She was right. (As a side note…my first inclination was to defend myself and explain why I did it, again...to look good. But the truth was she was RIGHT! Someone once said, “as soon as you begin to defend yourself, you cease to seek the truth”.
So, we all had a good laugh, and thanked God that we know Color Code!
POINT: My yellow need to “look good” automatically drove my behavior to misstate the facts. Innocent as it was, that IS what happened. How are your needs and wants driving some of your behavior?
REDS: Do you find yourself arguing with people all the time because of your need to be right and look good intellectually?
BLUES: Do you find yourself lecturing people all the time about how life should be lived because you have a need to be good morally, or your need to be understood?
WHITES: Do you find yourself retreating from discussing your feelings with people because of your need to be independent and have your own space?
YELLOWS: Do you find yourself lacking commitment and follow-through because of your need for freedom?
So…back to needs and wants of the colors.
How can your needs and wants get in the way of creating and sustaining successful relationships?
First of all, do you know your needs and wants? In your comprehensive analysis you will find the needs and wants of your primary and secondary colors. You may find a mixture of these needs and wants that are most important to you. “Humble up”, and honestly “get” your own needs and wants. This is part of First Base in the game of life, “Get Yourself”.
Your driving core motive is just that. It is the innermost impulse to action. The most powerful influence in your personality. Needs and wants come from the core of the motive. They also drive you to a significant degree.
I’ll give you an innocent little example in my own life. Yesterday, I was standing beside a house we are selling that was in need of some repair on the duct work. My friend, and fellow Color Coder, Ken Anderson is a contractor and was doing some of the other work that needed to be done. When it came to the heating and air duct work, HE said to me, “I think you might be better off to call someone who is a professional on that kind of work.” While we stood there...Ken, Tammy, and me…I called my friend Steve, who is a Heat and Air Repairman. I said to him, “Ken and I are standing here trying to figure out what to do on this and I said, why don’t I just call a professional?”
Ken and Tammy looked at each other with puzzled looks and then began to snicker to each other. When I hung up my phone, I said, “What are you laughing about?” Tammy said, “YOU didn’t say, let’s call a professional, KEN did!” “You are so yellow, you just want to look good to Steve!” She was right. (As a side note…my first inclination was to defend myself and explain why I did it, again...to look good. But the truth was she was RIGHT! Someone once said, “as soon as you begin to defend yourself, you cease to seek the truth”.
So, we all had a good laugh, and thanked God that we know Color Code!
POINT: My yellow need to “look good” automatically drove my behavior to misstate the facts. Innocent as it was, that IS what happened. How are your needs and wants driving some of your behavior?
REDS: Do you find yourself arguing with people all the time because of your need to be right and look good intellectually?
BLUES: Do you find yourself lecturing people all the time about how life should be lived because you have a need to be good morally, or your need to be understood?
WHITES: Do you find yourself retreating from discussing your feelings with people because of your need to be independent and have your own space?
YELLOWS: Do you find yourself lacking commitment and follow-through because of your need for freedom?
POINT TO PONDER: How are MY needs and wants blocking me in creating relationships?
More to come…stay tuned.
More to come…stay tuned.
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